Ms. Hilton Goes to Washington
1. The White House would become the Pink House. "I think she'd do everything pink," McKay says. "It would be pink on the outside, pink carpets, pink furniture, pink jammies. The men on her staff would be cool with it—they'd be shirtless Chippendale types, with names like Leon."
2. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would become more Parisian in other ways. "Instead of a bowling alley in the basement of the White House, Paris would have a Pilates studio. And, oh, yeah, she'd have foam parties in the Oval Office for the White House staff and old girlfriends from boarding school."
3. Press conferences would be held red-carpet style. "She would answer all questions while walking and posing for a wall of photographers, and they'd be yelling out, 'Paris, look here! Paris, what about rumors of a trade embargo with North Korea!?' "
4. Of course, she'd answer other questions, too. "The first half of every conference would be about what she's wearing. Paris would realize that as president she would have to tone it down a little. She'd lean toward Prada."
5. Her vice president, Rihanna, would be ideal for handling difficult diplomatic situations. "What would happen is, Rihanna would step off the plane in fishnet stockings, music would blare, and whole countries would melt at the sight of her."
6. The president would handle many of her duties from Los Angeles. "It would be like Bush at the Crawford Ranch. She would be in L.A. more than she would in Washington, D.C."
7. And foreign diplomats would definitely want to party with Paris. "She would replace the cabins at Camp David with cabanas—and topless would be optional for all world leaders, which would be horrifying but very European."